Think of pain as a friend. A terrible, toxic friend. Who shows up uninvited, burrows into your life. You can’t ask him for help. You can’t expect him to understand you and your problems. You’re just fundamentally dissimilar. But stuck together, like a buddy cop movie no one asked for.
This friend will take up all your time. He will get jealous if you hang out with your other (non toxic) friends. He will police your hobbies. Tell you to constantly give up your passions under the guise of realism. He will follow you to work. Get you fired. He will speak on your behalf. Leave you friendless. He will create your inner demons and blackmail you with them. He will try to keep you all to himself.
Your confusion is his triumph. Your helplessness, his reason to stay. Your inner and outer humiliation, his only purpose.
The only way he goes away is if you bring a more messed up and manipulative friend into your life. But he always comes back. And you always let him in. He promises to not be as bad as the last time. And you know that it means nothing.
But here’s the thing, while trapping you, he also reminds you to constantly seek freedom. While shooting down your thoughts, he makes you realise how special they are and their need to be catalogued. While limiting your creativity, in rare occasions, he also ends up being your muse.
The pain maybe forever. But so are you.
Submitted by a Lupus fighter. He wants to hide his identity due to personal reasons. We hope one day he is ready to come out of the hiding and accept his issues with a big smile yet keep on making others smile too.